I made it through the whole bullying video and i cant stop crying.
because i understand
because everything dad does for me is because he was too unhappy to enjoy the things that came his way.
because he missed out on so much.
because he works hard every day at a job that dosen’t think of him when they pile on the work.
because he wants my sister and i to be happy.
because my cousins have lines on their inner thighs, barely masked by their shorts.
because they wear such short clothing to show the fickle people around them that they have value.
because my family says they are sluts and can never be different even though they can be some of the nicest people you will ever talk to.
because every day from kindergarten to 8th grade my sister came home crying.
because some times she still does and shes in high school.
because there are people who talk to people like me every second they can about everything they can because i listen.
because i wasn’t there enough when my friend needed me and now her love-life is a battle field.
because every moment im at home im washing my face, putting on a mask, picking away at every detail.
because i don’t want people to think im ugly
because i don’t swim anymore.
because i don’t wear short clothing.
because people will see my acne-scarred shoulders and fat thighs.
because as simple of a gesture as touching my face or kissing my cheek means the world to me.
because all the smart kids in the 7th grade hated me.
because i stood up for a teacher
because i was a pizza-faced, fat, nerdy, four-eyes too smart for regular classes and too dumb for pre-ap.
because my default pose is hands on hips with a look of discontent.
because i want to look stronger than them.
i know im beautiful.
but its hard knowing that these poeple i love can barely think the same of themselves.